How I Help Clients Create Change That Lasts: Using DBT Skills for Real-Life Growth
If you’ve ever promised yourself things would be different — I won’t overthink this time, I’ll stay calm, I’ll say no when I need to — but still find yourself falling into the same patterns, you’re not alone. Real change is hard, especially when emotions run high.
That’s why I love using Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) in my work with clients. DBT offers practical, down-to-earth skills that help you stay grounded, manage strong emotions, and make choices that actually support the kind of life you want.
Change Starts with Awareness
So much of therapy begins with awareness — learning to notice what’s happening inside of you before it spills outward.
I often guide clients through simple mindfulness check-ins: pausing for a breath and asking,
“What am I feeling right now?”
“Where do I feel it in my body?”
“What do I need in this moment?”
These small moments of awareness build emotional intelligence — the ability to understand what you feel and respond with clarity instead of reactivity.
When Things Get Intense: Learning to Ride the Wave
We all face moments when emotions feel too big — anger, sadness, fear, shame. In DBT, these moments aren’t about “fixing” feelings; they’re about riding the wave until it passes.
Some of my favorite coping tools include:
ACCEPTS — healthy distractions and grounding activities to get through tough moments
Self-Soothing — using your senses (touch, smell, taste, sight, and sound) to calm your body
TIPP Skills — cooling your body, breathing slowly, or doing brief movement to reset your nervous system
These aren’t quick fixes — they’re anchors that help you steady yourself until the storm calms.
Understanding Your Emotions — Not Fighting Them
One of the biggest shifts DBT offers is learning that emotions aren’t enemies; they’re messengers. Together, we work on noticing what your emotions are trying to tell you without letting them take control.
I help clients use PLEASE skills — caring for your Physical health, balanced Eating, avoiding mood-Altering substances, balanced Sleep, and regular Exercise — because when your body is cared for, your emotions become more manageable too.
Building Healthier Relationships with Confidence
Change also means learning how to show up differently in your relationships. DBT’s interpersonal effectiveness tools (like DEAR MAN, GIVE, and FAST) help you communicate needs clearly, hold boundaries, and still keep your values front and center.
You can ask for what you need without guilt — and that’s a powerful kind of freedom.
Lasting Change Comes from Self-Compassion
Growth doesn’t mean getting it right every time. It means showing up, noticing when you slip, and choosing again — with kindness toward yourself.
That’s the kind of change I help clients create: not perfection, but progress built on mindfulness, emotional awareness, and compassion.
If you’re ready to start building skills that help you stay calm, connected, and confident — I’d love to support you on that journey.
